It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. - Friedrich Nietzsche
Series of recent incidents that happened makes me understand deeper into my own past tragic kingdom. We were broken warriors, bruised, battered and wounded in the same boat. We may fight different wars but we are headed the same way; to a better mental health.
Of course there are some people who may not understand the pain we are going through. Some of us we are still fighting the battle and trying to stay afloat. We are almost drowning, after this boat we are on, capsized many times over.
And yet, again we fix the boat and continue with our journey.
We hear words like:
"you are in your own little world"
"it's all in your head"
"snap out of it"
We wish it was that simple - to snap in and out of it.
Those words goddamn hurt.
All we need are support and shoulders to lean on. Instead we get pushed away. We lost the life savers we thought we could cling on. Spiraling downwards, we became lost, became angry, sometimes we get violent.
Why leave us at the time we need them the most!?
We are broken, we need fixing.
Don't leave us dead.
Once upon a time that was me. I am still fighting when that dark naggy feeling comes crawling. I am still learning to manage it. I am battling this since I was in my teens.
I didn't know what and why I do certain things when I got angry. I was angry all my life.
Then along came my husband. He helped fix me and make me feel better. I was happy to have him around me. He is my good vibe.
I wouldn't lie that sometimes I feel as if I lost him. I will scramble around, clawing to get back in. I don't know what to do. This choking, drowning feeling wrapping around me.
I struggled to break away.
I find distractions.
Yes family is important, my friends are too. They were there for me once upon a time.
mission put a smile on a dear girlfriend over lunch.
It gives me joy to bring smiles to my broken warriors.
To be around them.
Laughter makes it a whole lot better.
It makes ME a feel like a better person.
a time bomb ticking.
will you help detonate it?
To my warrior brothers and sisters, if Allah wills it, I will be there for you too.
i aim to reconnect with the ones i treasure,
one by one.
So to the chosen life savers, if you have drowning friends or loved ones; please lend them a hand. Throw them that bouys, save them. Don't leave them struggling alone.
What matters most is your presence.
... and oh, ice creams and cakes too thank you!
eat me, eat me my friend